Chip-WHUT?, or Shake It

Today I woke up with a sense of no-idea-ness.

But instead I went out with Nick they all go watch movie. The Chipmunk movie was just WHUT. I don't need to say anything, cos, well, it goes without saying, i.e. , "CHIPETTES CHIPETTES".

Then at night, went to church. Didn't really feel like going at first, but by helping out with ushering and cd sales I made myself busy, and I did enjoy it in the end.

Then the next day (which is in fact tomorrow's today) I woke up like a blur fag again, but this time I had the sense to go straight back to sleep, and I had a good two hour slumber.

After that I went out to play L4D2 for what might jolly well be the last time this year. Bren kept shooting us from behind.

Then had dinner at Joshua Ronald's. Ate too much, drank too much, fell asleep, and fell in love with Isabelle Fuhrman ❤

OH ❤

She's like 12 this year man. Wtf. Works for me, though. ❤

What are we doing, though? I'm a coward, like usual.

ARGH STGWRTGR, or Coming Down Is Calming Down

My mum is unreasonable. I hate it the most not because I'm angry at her, but because that's where I get all mine from.

Leftover Memories, or Three Cheers For Five Years

I wanted to blog about this yesterday, but I FELL ASLEEP. Like, wow, that has never happened to me for a LONG TIME, since I need to coax myself to sleep for the past few, I don't know, months.

I started my Awal Muharam by waking up *again* to the sound of people knocking on our walls and singing and painting and doing God knows what to my walls. Everyday I wake up at 8 when the people come to paint, but go back to sleep and wake back up at 10.

That's the temporary bed for the moment... Yes, and when I wake up the workers see me sleeping on that sofa.

That's Kim's room.... See where the cupboards used to be? They're not there anymore.

What used to be my dining room became something where we can't eat anymore. It's too damn messy.

One wall of my room has been painted. With some pattern thingy.

So I woke up and there were these half-naked and fully clothed men carrying buckets of paint around and painting our walls, and then I went up for breakfast (Foh Sang noodles, my favourite).

So far so good right? Then my dad called and told us he wanted to take us out for shopping at 1B. So me n Kim were like, "YEAH DUH" and so we went with ma daddy to his house to pick up my adorable brother and my stepmother (and Evan's maid) and we were off to 1B!

My brother loves the Camera, and the Camera loves him. I mean, he knows how and when to pose for a picture, but at the age of two-and-a-half, he still can't eat solid food.

When did you get ur first pair of good shades?

Mum:19

Me:15

Evan:2 (He didn't say it himself, of course)

Cutes~

Hehe.

Well anyway, walked around with dad, had to go look for a checkered kind of shirt for the Kidzone Christmas thing. Was superbly hard, and almost gave up, but finally found one in Padini at70% off! Woopee! Apart from that, bought another shirt (that actually looks kinda gay) and my very own shampoo and conditioner! More on that later.

Anyway, saw so many people at 1B, it wouldn't be worth mentioning also, but I saw the teddies that we did on sale. And, to none of my surprise, the white bears were all gone. *sigh.

After that, went to City Mall last minute to cyber awhile. Lost to Melvyn in Dota, so I'm not supposed to Dota for like 3 months. That's okay, cos I don't Dota unless it's with friends, cos it's superbly boring playing alone and with people you don't know anyway.

When I got home, I used shampoo AND conditioner properly for the first time. And I couldn't get over how smooth and fluffy my hair could be. I hated my hair for being so unruly and irritating. It actually goes "woosh" now! All mum said was "You discovered conditioner at 17." I could only retort "I'm 16!" I know. Pathetic.

After that, mum took me to a Thai massage. Erm, I can only say

OWWWWWWWW

But it was interesting lah XD my back went "KERRRRRRRACCKKKKK".

And after that, mum took me out for supper.

I slept at 1am. A record. I havn't slept that early in ages.

You were right, Crab.

Not Trying To Not Try Anymore, or I Hate Love

I think I know how you feel now, Wendy.

You may not know it, but I'm kind of a sensitive guy. I don't like big confrontations, and when they happens, I shrink back into a small shell which doesn't exist. I'm also stubborn, selfish, arrogant, I always want things done my way, I make people feel bad when I don't get it done my way, and I have the ability to make people feel guilty about what I did, which doesn't make sense, but yeah.

But I think the hardest and worse possible trait of mine is that I just can't say

SORRY

It's a pride thing for me, must be my upbringing. I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying. Honestly I am.

I can say I can get most of this from my mum. I don't think I've heard her say sorry to me for a while now.Sorry mum :P

And although life is of course, uncertain, and fraught with clouded things that we STILL don't know, I'm going out on a limb here and just following my heart this time. No more logical explanations. No more rationalised thoughts. Too much thinking burns the brain, and staying up till 4 in the morning (and the tears are pouring) is taking its toll on me. So I'm going to stick with what I said so very long ago, which I meant then and still do now, and

all I want for Christmas is to go back to the first day I met you. So I could watch you grow up and train myself to try and resist, but I think we both know that's impossible for me.

Love bites, don't it? Better to have love and lost then to have never have loved at all? God, it hurts, but yeah. I wouldn't give up what we had for anything but a time machine.

I wish the earth would make it's stupid rounds around the sun already. I can't stand keeping myself boxed up any longer.

Stop saying sorry. I've been hurt worse.

But can't you see how unhappy I am?

Whatever Floats Your Boat, or Through The Fire And The Flames

LA! Look at the sun! Outrageously hot! I'm gonna burn later!

What a beautiful looking day! My goodness. Nick slept over at my house, and we both slept in the living room because the airconditioning in my sad excuse for a room was coughing loudly, and because there's only one single bed in that room. He slept on the floor and I slept on the couch. And that was like, what, 5 hours ago? Haha.

Anyway, today's going to be a long day, but we'll see. Hee!

I was probably still awake

Closer And Closer To The Line, or Barrier Break

Bring yourself closer to the line has its pros and cons.

For one, it brings you closer to temptation, to breaking the rules, to putting your hand in the cookie jar. One might argue why bother resisting when you're just drawing yourself closer and closer to trouble?

I Keep Pushing Myself Even Though I Can't Take It At All

Because, well, maybe it'd be the best way to better themselves. Maybe that's the only way to learn self-restraint? Maybe discipline? To make things right, maybe by forcing yourself to the line, you're making things better. Hmm.

But what if you accidentally cross the line? Then you make the mistake you should have never had made; i.e. crossing the line.

Then you realise that you hate the line in the first place. Stupid line. Rub the line out of the ground. Avoid the line. Ignore it, if at all impossible.

But my line is too beautiful, too drawing, so to ignore it is no option. Stupid line. I wish the sands would shift and make it go away, but to a place that the line would be safe, but not gone.

Stupid line. I hate Christmas. I'm sorry if I don't get anyone presents this year.

Singing To The Playground In General, or Baby Please Come Home

When I took Bella out for a walk today (actually at night, mother demands that I take her out everynight before I sleep) (I'm awake now), I sat at on the swing set, and as I rocked to and fro, Bella's eyes followed me, up and down up and down up and down. And I plugged in my iPhone, and as I shuffled through my 1408 songs, I came through some songs that were urging me to sing them aloud to the whole world, while everyone was asleep. So I sang some of the most depressing songs to the swing set, the basketball court, the jungle gym, the slide, the trees, and to Bella (if any of you are wondering, Bella isn't the freak from twilight, it's my retarded Golden Retriever).

I sang:

A Day Late (acoustic)- Anberlin

Thunder-Boys Like Girls

Therapy- All Time Low

Come Back To Me- David Cook

Retrace-Anberlin

There might have been some dogs barking. But, you know, makes me think how much I hate love.

Today played with teddy bears in church! Soooooo much fun :D

BEARS!

The Secret Smiles We Used To Share, or Whoa Oh! (Me vs. Everyone)

"Why do I put myself in these situations? I keep pushing myself even though I can't take it at all."

Ask these questions much? Sometimes we do that, don't we? Even if you don't realise it, self consciously you might enjoy pushing yourself to your very limit, enjoy being busy, etc.

I did. At paintball yesterday!

Paintball was great, even though some people told me they could go and then at last minute claimed they had 'transport problems' because some of their friends couldn't go. Whatever. If they want to play games, let them do so. This is real war we're talking about. Ask Chong :D

So some pictures (which I didn't take, but might one day, I think I will skip a round of paintball just to take some shots)

The game in action.

I really don't know what Nick is doing to the cat.

The field. It was BIG.

Me in my Paintball regalia.

Uncle Jarrow Marcus, of the Marcus clan with their terrifying bloodlust. Seriously. Once they got the groove, they can't stop one.

After paintball, we went to eat @ Burger King Putatan, then went back home with Luiz n Chong. Once they went home, went to Shanna's house, then ran back home to go out with cell to play at Carcaseans, but it was closed, so we went to Cyber to play like for 3 hours, haha. Owned the Cell leaders first game of CS, then played L4D2, then played CS but got pounded after that.

Then went home to sleep. But sometimes it's just hard to sleep, right? You lie awake. Like I do every night.

When I woke up at 10 am this morning I thought, "It's time for church" and "Why didn't mother wake us up?" and "Stupid window with no shades".

The renovation has begun.

Only like HALF of the junk we cleared from the cupboards that we took away.

What used to be like this...

Is now just an empty space.

And what used to be THIS..

Has been stripped bare by these guys.

Helpful doods carrying my old cupboards out. What remains of the old cupboards. Dirt.

This is like 75% of belongings, the rest is in the room, and all my books are around the house. I have to find all my books and gather them.

Guess where they dumped the cupboards when they were done?
My front yard.

So there's like cupboards all around the garden, which might look a bit, if not a lot, odd.

Hopefully all this nonsense is done before Christmas, and the nice contractor man said he wanted to help us finish me and Kimbo's room before Christmas, and that's really nice. He's granting me my Christmas wish! Well, one of them lah. The other one probably is a lost cause.

I need people to help paint my room! Adakah sukarelawan yang rela di sini? Ada? Ada?

Presumably, Arguably, Maybe, or The Greatest View

Remember my previous post on my house changing?

Well I finally got the plans for my room.

They said it'll be done before the end of the year.

Thanks for getting my hopes up, haha.

Here it is.

You can click on the picture to view a larger image.

Yep. I know it's not that clear and all, but hey, at least there's a plan.

What's going to happen is the whole Computer/Ironing Room is going to be destroyed. Even the cupboards. The ones that were built into the house. Like destroyed.

With a chainsaw.

And an axe.

And a rabbit.

Then it's going to be converted into MY room. Like, I like, get my own like room! Like, Ohmagawd! Like, totally like awesome!

I finally get my own room. With proper cupboards to put my own clothes which I don't have to share with someone else. And I get my own study table! Wee!

Paintball this Saturday. Who's in (to get shot)?