OMGWTF, or The Take Over, The Break's Over

SOMEONE STOLE MY TABLE!!! BUT LEFT THE CHAIRS!!!

You'll probably not realise this, but if you have been to my house, you'll know that in that empty space in the picture, is a wooden table. AND SOMEBODY FREAKING STOLE IT! When I got home I was like, "Ho hum, woopee doo, lala.... WTF?!"

Haha, well okay, so the table really is gone, but no, it wasn't stolen. Haha.

What's really going on is that my mum is redoing the whole house and giving away stuff to the people in Kibabaig. She gave away the table in Kim's room, she gave away the table that was 'supposed' to be in the above picture, and she intends to give away a bunch of clothes (which she promised to do like a month ago, and I bet she never will) to them too.

Now wait. Didn't you say Kim's room? So where's YOUR room?

Haha. What a depressing story THAT is.

I used to sleep on a mattress in my living room. Which was sad. Until I finally moved into my Computer Room, where the ironing of clothes is done, and the desktop is, and a lot of junk is placed. And now it's my new room.

That's my 'desk'. With my bebehs (Speakers) and shit, and next to it is the cupboard which has half my clothes, and the rest of the stuff inside is my mother's crap.

The mattress I sleep on. No, it's not long enough for me.

Close up of my desk.

My computer 'table' for my laptop. On the left is my adorable Kuma Kuma collection (sans one) and on the right are dolls and toys that people have given me.

My OTHER desk, at the other end of my mattress. There's basically nothing important there.

So yeah, it's super messy. But my mum is going to like redo the whole room, as well as my sister's, so the whole house is a mess now. A lot of things are going to be wrecked, and things destroyed, and while all that is going on, I suppose that I have to sleep in the living room again. Whoopee!

Coup De Grâce, or The Kill

Love is any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection^[1] and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my husband"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness offamilial and platonic love^[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.^[3] Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

Without trust, there is no love. Love makes us mad, makes us jealous.

How very coincidental that Moulin Rouge played on the telly today. Truly, though, there is no appropriate or correct or even an accurate description of love. It's whatever you want it to be. It can't be held, it comes and goes as it pleases, and the worse part is that you have no hold over it whatsoever, unless you are a robot, or a very disciplined person. It drives you to do things that on paper and through logic, makes no sense whatsoever, right?

I mean really, when does love ever make sense? It doesn't! Not at all! You don't love with your mind; it's a heart thing, if you understand. Although some may have tried, there is no "formula" for love. You can't look at someone (at this is actually what a lot of people do) and say,"Hmm, nice face, good body, he likes things I like, so I love him." Well, you CAN, and that may be YOUR definition, but then I must say what a shallow, shallow person you really are. You just love someone. You just do.

Someone who I found that I DO love (not in the romantic way, just in the admiring way) is BETH RIESGRAF.

Beth Riesgraf plays Parker on the series "Leverage" of which I have finished watching season 1. Although not seen in this picture here, Riesgraf has this impish and cunning smile, and she is adorably cute whenever she does anything criminal. She's so cute! And this coming from me never having a celebrity crush. I'm not crushing on her, but I mean, I LOVE HER!

Do you understand? :)

I Saw It Again!, or There And Back Again

I found my diaries.

My first one was this cute little diary with a bunch of animals on the front. The diary followed my exploits through our win in Primary Choral Speaking all the way to Penang, through the 2004 Tsunami, to Singapore, Perlis, I went there. Seeing my writing as a child, seeing a honest view through the eyes of my younger self, made me realise how simple and less tragic my life was last time.

My second diary is a blue, Camel notebook, thick, and with page numbers, which I loved. I stapled so many things in my diaries, but this diary really took the cake. It followed me all the way to Sarang, through my first relationship, through my second, and my third. It's full of memories, from the eyes of someone growing up, struggling to find his self- identity, flying all the way to Vietnam, Bali, Australia, up to camps, in to school, full of written memories that make me laugh aloud or stretches a sad, sad smile on my face.

The third diary was one of the best. I received it for Christmas, a moleskin diary for 2007. It was nice, small, good enough for me to fit in my SMALL SAINTS blazer back when I served as a prefect, keeping my company during my duties, and it's filled with quotes from that year, which have been rewritten in my quote book.

My fourth diary is incomplete. I found it and started to pour over the pages, later writing about my miserable life, the troubles I've been going through. I'm going to keep writing, because they're more heartfelt and more honest, and I don't have to pretend, because no one's going to see it. A blog is more of a statement to the world. A diary? A journal? That's for you to know, but for no one to find out.

You know what I saw there, Ri? I was foolish too.

Learning To Write, or Lonely Day

Nigel writes Chinese characters now!

Yes, I am attending Chinese Classes now for want of something better to do during these sad days. So every Tues, Wed and Thurs I'm going to walk over to Joerel's house and sit from 10-12 to learn chinese, then I probably just talk crap with Joerel and bully all his younger siblings.

Nigel (Me)'s first essay.

Loose Translation:

My friend's name is Jordan (Jozel gave me the name).

He likes to eat rabbits and carrots.

Everyday he toy (I forgot to put 'play').

His house is big and pretty.

He likes to water plants and plant plants.

He is very naughty and doesn't like to write and sweep the floor.

My mother doesn't like my friend.

THE END.

I know, awesome right? How did he do it in one day?

Cos I have nothing better to do. My life feels really kind of meaningless now.I just wish I could fast forward my life to like a few years ahead, then I wouldn't have to deal with the stress of a teenager's life. Oh sure, adults have to work and shit, but it's not fair when they say that we have no stress. Cos we do, just not in the same way.

So hmm. Being me really really sucks. I wish I could go become a hermit or something. But then I would need to charge my NDS. Hmm...

Who Wants Martel, or We're In Heaven

Kim and Mum went to Manila last night. So guess who's home alone?

Not me, lol. Last night after dropping mum off, me and Uncle Geoff (pronounced "Jeff), our Ang Moh family friend went for dinner at Archie's D Corner (or something around those lines) at the back of the house (near that awesome Penang Char Kweh Teow place). While having dinner, he told me about his life here, and that he went to Starbucks EVERYDAY (OMGWTF). Yep, he's the real coffee connoisseur. He even has his own coffee mugs in Starbucks City Mall, Centrepoint and 1 Borneo. THAT'S how much he goes. He has his own freaking mug. And a Starbucks PASSPORT TOO. WTF. Yeah.

Anyway. After dinner I went home, and Nick Lee came over, and we played Pokemon, Pokemon Cards, Warriors Orrochi, Persona 3, cooked Maggie, ate Maggie, went for a walk to 7-11, bought stuff at 7-11 (at 12 in the night), stayed up super late, ate chips, then fell asleep. The only thing missing was alcohol (COUGH COUGH COUGH).

Erm, so woke up this morning, played more Pokemon, more Persona, Chinese Chess (score was 2-1 to me), had lunch, more Pokemon, and now Nick's showering. I actually feel really pathetic, but I rejoice that someone still shares the love of Pokemon as me. I wanted to start a Pokemon league here in Sabah, but apparently it's not supported here. Meaning there aren't enough people interested. *Sigh.

So tonight, probably gonna stay up late summore, play more Pokemon, eat more junk, watch some movies, use the internet, and basically have less life than anyone else. Then we wake up.

Tuned It Down, Wound It Out, or The Day You Went Away

So I'm back.

Are you all happy to see me?

I know some people are.

I know some who aren't.

Am I glad to be back?

It's, hmm,

Bittersweet.

But yes I'm glad to be back.

UPS:

FOOD

DOWNS:

MUM NAGGING

I HAVE NO PLACE TO SLEEP (seriously, since my sister took over my room, I'm sleeping in my living room. How pathetic is that?)

LESS FREEDOM

The list doesn't look very fair, does it?

You ran away!

Away, Away, or This One's A Cheap Shot

First thing I do when I get home is eat Tuaran Mee. I'm not eating anything in Sabah until I get Tuaran Mee down ma throat.

When am I coming home, then? Date confirmed! See you there :)