What I Learnt At The Wedding, or Some Hearts

I went to this wedding on New Year's day with my mother. It was my mother's worker's wedding, and it was a Chinese-Kadazandusun marriage. So together with the normal Chinese traditions applicable for the Groom's side (i.e. The 'auspicious wedding' character or something like that on the main board), there was a lot of Kadazandusun stuff as well (like the gong players).

I learnt a number of things at this wedding, something I hope will aid me when my own time comes.

1. Don't drink the wine unless you see the bottle.

The wine is cheap and bad. It has to be cheap, unless you want to buy enough South Australian Whitefor at least three hundred guests. Don't drink the wine, it'll make you puke. Duh, they buy it in the 5L amounts.

2. No matter what, don't let anyone sing Chinese karaoke, especially screechy kids.

IT WAS SO BAD. Not the songs (Okay. The songs sucked too), but the PA wasn't done properly, and the three little girls sang really irritatingly and sharp. I mean, it's a wedding dinner. You want Chinese karaoke, sing during CNY or something. I want love songs to be sang at my wedding, you know? And only by people who can sing.

3. Eat as much as you can if you're the guest. Hey, it's paid.

And if you don't go for the dinner, at least have the courtesy to let the Bride and/or groom know. They're PAYING for you to go there and EAT. If you don't go, they're just burning paper. Anyway, eat as much as you can, especially the shark fin soup.

4. NEVER EVER EVER get drunk (especially if you're related) (Even worse, if you're the groom)

I'm lucky I'm training from young. Before the wedding, my mum told me that the groom couldn't hold his drink. It was so bad to the extent that the groom and some of his friends took of their shirts and waved them around stripper style on stage. Yep. And at supper, some of the groom's buddies were having drinking competitions, and not like beer (Oh no, they drank all of that already), but serving bowls of sweet sago.

5. Plan your events well.

Make sure all the proceedings follow the scheduled timeline. I was warned beforehand that the wedding dinner would start superbly late, as all wedding dinner's do. They were right. We arrived late but we were still early, if you get what I mean.

6.Place people at tables where they have people to talk to.

My mum and I were placed at a table where there was no one at all that we knew. Awkward much? Very.

7. Try not to invite children to your wedding, especially those who run around.

I hate these children. Especially if they run on then stage. That's just bloody rude, and it's bloody rude of their parents not to do anything about it.

That's about it lah. I don't know how biased this post is, because this wedding dinner is one of the first wedding dinners I have ever been to, no joke whatsoever, and it being a multi-racial deal makes it even the more interesting. There's always going to be slideshows of the couple growing up, slideshows of them together, a whole load of toasts, horrible singing, and the whole event going completely of time.

The only thing I'm worried for about my wedding, though? That my mother will take over the whole deal and terrorize my wife and in-laws. Ah well. That's Madam Chiu for you.