Community Work, or Lost In Stereo

I went to Sukau over this weekend (well, four days to be exact). Went there all fired up and prepared to work. 'Cos that's what I do. I have this heart (like my momma, who I have recently added on Facecake) for the STOP people who are the.... Uhm, Sick, Torn, Oppressed and Poor (I think). And so I like going out and in to the interior to help and do work and stuff. I like it. I like seeing the looks on their faces when we help them. I also like the little children who, for some reason, have this liking for me, and follow me everywhere, and they don't pronounce my name right, so I just let them call me Koko.

So anyway, there I was, ready for something like Pitas (we had like 600 people there in one day where they were waiting for us to arrive), when we were sorely disappointed; We only had 220 people there in both days. The need wasn't there. But it was still good to help out.

This time I did eye check duty and photo taking/ printing.

Now, I have to explain this in greater detail. My mother does this 'ministry' where she takes photos for kampung people and gives them the photos instantly in photo frames (sponsored), via the two Selphy printers that we have (also sponsored). It may not seem as significant or as helpful as medicinal aid and stuff, but it does lift their morale and make them happy, and it's a good way of gaining trust.

Made good friends too, with this dude called Jamil. We used his house to take the family pictures, and we got talking about cameras and stuff. Long story short, I'm thinking of buying his camera: D2x Nikon! And he plays music and all too, and he's really nice and friendly, and me and mum and Uncle Geoff went to a Kampung Wedding because of him =D It was a good experience. I can now say I have, and I think they were delighted to have a Caucasian there.

So yeah, I was doing a lot of photo printing and taking, along with Jamil and Mum. And some of the people there are pretty fussy about it. Not the way they look or anything, but the amount of copies we gave. It's specifically one photo in a frame per family, and they want more. HELLO? We're already given you free stuff. Give it a rest.

Consumption for What Is Perceived to be the Mind, But Is Actually the Heart, or Starships

Isn't it great to be happy? I like being happy. All the time. Why, I aspire to have a smile on my face as well as a smile on the faces on others around me. That's why sometimes I do silly things or skip happily or act energetically so on first impression, that's the impression I give. So many times I have had people giggling at my general direction, and when I approach them and smile sweetly enquiring what's wrong, I usually get things like "Why are you always so happy?", "You're so energetic today" and sometimes "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU".

It's good to be happy. You're outlook on life is more positive. When I woke up and got out of bed a while ago I would have been all zombie-Nigel mode. Oh wait. Sometimes I still do. But that's because I'm sleepy, so yeah yeah. I get out of bed happy, and if I wake to the voice of another, well, that just means the whole day is going to be a great day, just because it had a great start, no matter how crappy the middle is.

I like being happy. It's like food for the soul or the heart, or something. There's something about being happy about something, like getting good grades, but if you can set your mind to be happy about absolutely nothing at all... Wow. I salute you, and skip merrily by your side. Happy happy happy!

Happy, joyful, exuberant, jubilant, glad. All these words describe emotions that make your mouth twitch in to that wonderful smile of yours. These words make you laugh, they make you clap, they make you cry, sometimes. These words can spur you to jump for, what else, joy.

Isn't it great to be happy?

Well I'm pretty happy! Eventhough I'm not, I am... If you understand that.

Whataday, or The Sound Of Settling

Phew. Today has been quite the day. I am exhausted, and I have no mood to blog (eventhough my blog is in serious need of human touch to its words).

I was so stressed out though, SO SO SO stressed out, but in the end, things worked out well, thanks God! You're like, the best, really! Prayer is power, and power is awshum!

Today I received something wonderful, became an evil gamemaster, sang a song that I think I shouldn't go around singing, drove three different cars, ate a burger, drove up and down I was probably on the road for more than an hour, unloaded a bunch of crap with (barely any) help, lost something, found something, went to see a friend in a crisis, met up with new friends and finally was able to see an old friend. And these words just don't justify it all. It doesn't.

I was at the Backpackers Cafe in KK, and it said that on this date, in 1947, a Japanese General was executed for war crimes in Borneo. What a coincidence!

It was a good day, though. No regrets. Except misplacing my bag.

DISC, or What You Waiting For

I got back on Thursday night, and my mum poked me and said, "Nigel, tomorrow you help me run event again ah." Erm, okay, fine, sure...

Now before I give a downlo of what happened, let me just explain what DISC is. DISC stands for Dominant, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientiousness. These four traits are the main personalities that the rest of human behaviour can be more or less derived from.

Let's shove a few examples to quickly explain:

Cleaning a Whiteboard:

D- Quickly orders someone to get the job done

I- "WHEE LET'S CLEAN THE WHITEBOARD WHEE"

S- Waits for someone to ask him/her before moving to the whiteboard to clean it

C- Calculates the best way to effectively clean the whiteboard

When the Roof Caves in:

D- Organises a crew to help clear the rubble and aid the wounded

I- "WOAH, THE ROOF CAVED IN! AWSHUM!"

S- Huddles in a corner

C- Works in his mind why the roof caved in in the first place

A few people of DISC characters in the Bible:

D- Paul. Paul is a typical D, hardheaded and strong.

I-Peter. He get's things going.

S-Abraham. Mr. Behind The Scenes worker.

C-Moses. He charts the course (People argue he's got some D in him, and of course he does. Everyone does, so shut up and let me explain)

Anyway, so my sister, Andrew, Kah Mun and I were helping my momma out that night. Apart from Mum, me and Andrew were given walkie talkies. We were dressed up in super formal black (someone said debonair) (except for Andrew; He wasn't dressed up THAT much), and both of us ran around helping coordinate the whole show: From the release time of the alcoholic beverages (after the PM's speech) to registration ("Good evening sir... Yes you may sit there") to cueing (?) the guest performers, like the runner up from the latest season of Akedemi Fantasia (what was her name... Akilaah or something, but she was cute), to standing on the stage to hold the bowl of lucky draw slips.

It was pretty 'fun', in the sense that I got to boss people older than me around, and watch them wait on my call (that's the Control-Freak D in me), scurrying around serving food, and doing things I tell them to. When things go wrong, though, it's frustrating, because it's the event organisers who get the blame, not the hotel staff, or the performers.

Thankfully there were no major slip-ups. The hotel staff, however, are some of the most slow (mentally and physically) people I have ever met (and hello, the Chief Minister is here); I had to poke their supervisors twice to get them to hurry up and get more people working.

This event was the Shell Sabah Journalist Association Awards (OR SOMETHING), and it's held annually, every year, once a year. I met a few people who could be future contacts in the future, so that's a good thing. Who knows, maybe next year I could be a participant instead of the one running around?

Funny thing? I met my father there, who was a guest of his friend. And my mum was there. Awkward...

I did get to enjoy some booze after. A bottle of J, anyone?

Helium Balloons, or Sweetness (Jimmy Eats World)

My Chem tutor told me that the reason that our voices become all high-pitched and freaky when we inhale helium is because the density of the air that we inhale is not as dense as normal air, and so the vibrations caused by our voicebox is faster, causing our pitch to become higher than usual.

Also, helium balloons have to fall down one day. This is because (insert reason here because I have no idea why this happens). I am so smart.

Why talk about helium, you say? The lojik applied in science usually, generally and almost always applies in our everyday lives. This lojik makes a lot of sense, and it makes us nod our heads and go "Oh yeah kan". Lojik is the currency of reasoning: If you have not lojik, you reason poorly, or not at all.

What goes up eventually has to come down. Cindy told me this one day, and I pointed out to her that I told her that first, and she just laughed. It is true, though. Good times come to an end. Bad times come to end. All time will come to an end. What you do while your balloon floats up there is what counts: You don't want to waste your time floating up there doing nothing. You want to do something. You want to be worthwhile.

There is always a push and pull. In Karate, we learnt that the sharper our negative reaction, the more powerful our outwards thrust. I've applied it and see it at work physically (ask the people I poke), but now I come to realise that it works socially as well. It does. TRUST ME!

How are you going to spend your time at the top?

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I'M SO STRESSED OUT WITH ALL THIS CAMP STUFF, ALONG WITH THE OTHER THINGS I HAVE TO CLEAR UP BEFORE I LEAVE FOR CAMP/ MIRI. STRESS. OUT.

TEKANAN. KELUAR.

And I've been unusually, strangely and oddly hungry lately. I don't understand. It can't be that I'm exercising more lately. I get hungry at the strangest of times: Lunch time, after lunch time, in the middle of the night, when I wake up, after I exercise. Ask the people I've been around. They've seen (and heard) me eat recently.

Things in life have been a chaotic bag of chaos. Inside is crap. I hate that crap. I wish it would go away. But I found this picture in Matthew Lee''s house one day:

I want to be like that. I want to learn how. I just need a partner to laugh along with my mistakes, to be there when I'm down. I don't expect you to solve my problems: I want you to be there, and let your presence just comfort me. Love is not selfish. Love bears all things. I'm bearing as much as I can.

I want someone to dance with me, as sweetly and as silently as possible.

Teeth, or Littlest Things

At Bel's bakery (Walnut at Foh Sang, go there and buy bread, and maybe I can ask them to give me some for free) I had to sit for awhile to wait for my sister. Contrary to what my mother thinks, I wasn't THAT much of a kelefe... I had to discuss some things with Eleni, and after that I found this book lying open on one of the tables.

It was a book on sex. But it looked... Interesting (besides, there was nothing to do), and so I started reading. I was so engrossed in it that time flew by, and I didn't realise that I could've just gone home. Instead, I just read and read and read, and I made the owner promise me that I could borrow it once I was done.

I'm not going to go in to much details. I mean, we all know the drill right: Sex is holy, sex is pure, sex is something that needs to wait for marriage. We know the details, right? But what are we doing about it?

What's your excuse for not having sex before marriage? Religion? Is that HONESTLY it? That, to me, after reading that book, isn't really a good reason at all. If you want to know more you can ask me personally. But yeah, good read, I can't wait to get my hands on it again!

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Honestly, I have no idea why I started that rant. Wasn't really a rant to begin with, but whatever.

There's a lot left in this year. A LOT. Lotsa things to do, lotsa things to get through. Imagine, that it was January just a little earlier this year. It seems a lifetime ago, but it passed by so very very fast. I very very much so despised my life last year: Not the experiences and situations I went through, but the person I was. I wasn't myself. I was... Different.

I'm back (as close as possible) to the person I once was, but... But I'm, in a sense, 'stronger'. I realise that sometimes, I need to be serious. Sometimes, I need to stop fooling around. I'm still learning, but I take life in with every chance that I get, not taking it for granted.

Recently I've been... Confused. I wasn't sure of the road to take. Down a new path, or up the same one that I've followed for so long? Before I could make a proper decision, the new path shed some light on the truth. The truth amazed me; I expected it, but not so soon. I was shocked, and so I wanted to run down that road, but that wasn't the right thing to do. I had to stroll down the path, take in the scenery, all the little things, because I wasn't on these paths for want of a means to a destination. Rather, it was the journey I was on that really counted. And so far, I'm enjoying the sights, sounds and warmth of this new path. This path was something that seemed very... Comfortable. Like I was already used to the path; I knew the turns and bends even before I approached it, and I knew where to go. There were still some things I needed to learn, but I had time. Oh, I had nothing but time. This experience is... It was...

Different.

Sorry about that, it was all very very cryptic, and even the people that know what I'm talking about will find it a little hard to understand!

Being enigmatic is useful to a lesser extent. Eh.

Show me your teeth when you smile.

Full-On Freak-Out, or I Wanna

My body aches so bad. I'm so out of shape!

But I think that, if I go the gym more often, I'll be in shape. Aha.

Hmm.

So yesterday I went to the gym. Me, Kimbo, Joshua Ronald and Adren went to the Sutera Harbour gym, where we're all members, and 'worked out' (Adren ditched us to play tennis after awhle). I just jogged a lot (6.5 Km, which to some of you isn't a lot, but to me at this time, IT IS), and did some ab work and a little bit of upper body exercises. This morning at church me and Josh were flicking each other's sternum (is it? Not too sure, I don't take Bio), which caused some painful wincing.

You were the one who raised me from birth.

But oh, you've changed so very very much.

What happened? Yeesh.

I went to pick my mother up from the airport just now. The first thing she said to me was, "What are you wearing? You look ridiculous." That's really what you want to hear from your mother. I think something's going on with her; something that she's not telling us. She's grumpy, touchy, and easily irritated, and even more unreasonable than she normally is. Stubborn and resolute, she's not going to give in to anything, so I surmised it's simpler to just walk away. And it's working, in a way.

I didn't realise I mean that much to you.

I mean, I did, but not now.

Just a hug?

After the meeting, something just pushed me into your direction, and give you a long awaited hug. I still don't know if that was the right thing for me to do. Maybe I should stay away, away again. It worked that way, didn't it? The silence. That's for the best.

But it's not what we want.

NOW IMMA GO LAZE AROUND THE HOUSE, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Why can't the holidays come faster? Come faster! COME EH!!!!